just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It's official drugs can't kill me
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
