I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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