i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
