Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
