maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i wish my penis had a tongue
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
