I cockslap morals
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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