how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
