"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
