SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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