the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
