look no pants
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
