Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
