I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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