Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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