please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
