A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
