I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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