he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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