Your mouth is God's brothel.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
