I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
dude. I can hear the air.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
