dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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