rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
