why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
