i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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