my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
