please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
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You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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