I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im holly from the hills drunk
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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