thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
