piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
