you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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