Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
