When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
