we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize