had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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