is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
