i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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