Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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