hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
