He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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