so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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