Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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