i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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