lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
