I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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