I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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