she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
