when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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