based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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