I think my vagina is haunted
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
