what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
