My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
