she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
