Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
