I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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