There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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