but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
