If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
