Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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